Quirky Chronicles of Camel and Goose

by Andrew J.     

Introduction 

Welcome to the whimsical world of Camel and Goose! The days of these unlikely friends are filled with the banter and wit, who find joy in the simplest of activities.  

Their conversations may seem like random chit-chat, but each reminds us that life’s greatest pleasures often come from the moments we share with the ones we care about. 

Délicieux 

Once upon a time in a small place called Lansing, Michigan, two friends, a camel named La Camel and an underweight Canada goose (all Canadian geese are underweight) named Le Runt were lying down in their backyard staring at the clouds. 

“Hey! That one looks like me, and, wait, that bump on my head is my chef hat!” said La Camel, who enjoyed cooking and baking very much but usually burnt it. 

“Wait a moment, that cloud looks like my book!” Le Runt shouted cheerfully.  

He sure liked reading. Suddenly, the cloud tore apart. 

“Not anymore,” La Camel chuckled. She loved making jokes, especially lame ones. 

Meanwhile, Le Runt frowned. It was hard to tell he was frowning because he had a beak, and beaks are hard to bend like that, so La Camel just assumed he didn’t notice.  

“Okay,” said Le Runt looking at his watch, “It’s almost dinner time.” 

“Yippy!”  

“What should I cook today?” 

“How about salmon?” said Le Runt. 

“You mean saumon, but anyway, sure,” said La Camel. 

She rushed to the closest fridge (they were rich and had a mansion, which means they had multiple fridges) and started looking at the fish section. 

“Cod, tuna, halibut, sardine, mackerel, tilapia, trout,” and at last – 

“Salmon!” cried La Camel.

“Great! Now let’s start cooking.” She gracefully walked to their stainless steel oven and turned the pure gold switch to 400 degrees… Then she put the salmon on the cutting board and let it thaw. Fifteen minutes passed by and… 

“It’s ready to go into the oven!” La Camel cheered. 

La Camel opened a large cabinet filled with all sorts of spices. “Le Runt,” called La Camel, “Which spice would you like on your salmon?” 

“I’m reading.”  

“Okay then, I will choose it for you.” La Camel grabbed a small bronze tube filled with smoked paprika (who doesn’t love a good spicy and smoky flavor?). She flipped the tube over and slowly sprinkled it across the raw salmon. Then she flipped the salmon over and did the same on the other side. With a large smile on her face, La Camel opened the oven door and slid the salmon into the oven with an aluminum tray underneath. 

1,2,3,4…30 minutes passed by. 

“It’s done!!!” La Camel went bonkers. 

“Okay” Le Runt responded without taking his eyes off the page. 

“It’s done,” La Camel hunched. 

But then fixed her attitude and got to work.  

She grabbed two ceramic plates with a picture of Napoleon I sculpted into it, then, gently, beside the plates, she laid the Salmon flat on the cutting board. But not gently, she sliced the Salmon in two and plopped each opaque half on separate plates.  

“How is it Birdy?” asked La Camel with a giggle after Le Runt got a piece in his mouth. 

“Remember that’s not my name, but otherwise délicieux.” 

Not So Professional Gaming 

One time Le Runt took La Camel out into an open soccer field to play soccer. First, he tried to teach La Camel dribbling. She gently tapped the ball then ran away without it.  

Le Runt slapped his forehead.  

Next, Le Runt taught La Camel shooting. 

“Try to kick the ball in that goal,” Le Runt instructed. 

“Got it,” said La Camel.  

She charged at the ball then kicked it about 60 feet high.  

They watched the ball go up and up and over Le Runt, past the red house, over the blue house, and bang! The ball smashed the street with a lot of force. Le Runt rushed toward the ball as fast as he could.  

He was about to grab the ball when… POP! A pickup truck drove right over their brand new $50 soccer ball.  

Le Runt slapped his forehead. 

On Wednesday, La Camel tried to play backgammon with Le Runt. Although it was Le Runt’s turn, La Camel was about to win (La Camel was really good at backgammon), but Le Runt saved himself by accidentally throwing the dice into the fireplace. Le Runt pretended that he did nothing, but instead of slapping her forehead, La Camel chuckled. 

“How about chess,” questioned Le Runt.  

“I am very good at it,” he said not truthfully, but proud. 

“Okay.”  

La Camel flipped the board over and emptied out the pawns, knights, bishops, queens, and kings.    

Special Delivery 

“Oh where is that newspaper,”  Le Runt grunted like an old grandpa. 

“Maybe in the mailbox?” 

Sure enough, it was there. 

Since he looked in the mailbox, he took the mail with him. 

Back in his house Le Runt popped only his head through the door to make sure that La Camel wasn’t waiting to scare him. 

He plopped all the mail on the counter.  

He sorted the advertisements and the letters in separate piles.  

In the letter pile he spotted a large manilla envelope with a bunch of cursive letters on the top right corner that spelled out…La Camel. 

“La Camel!” shouted Le Runt  “This letter is for you!”  

“Did someone send me a cookbook?”  

“Come check it out.” 

She grabbed the letter and off she went. 

La Camel ran to her bedroom, locked the door and pulled the top of the brown envelope. It read:  

Dear our lovely La Camel & Duck, 

We have been very lonely and depressed since you left La France. We would happily buy you plane tickets any time, in fact, we have. 

Love Mer’e & Per’e 

P.S. We live at 165, Canard Roti Lane, Lyon, France. 

Up up up into France 

Their flight was at 7:30 pm with a 737-100 Boeing Air France. Their pilot’s name was Monsieur Lambsbottom.  

When the flight attendant came around and checked on the passengers, La Camel asked if she and Le Runt could be upgraded to first class. Of course, the answer was no, because none of them had flown with Air France or even a plane. La Camel turned on Back to the Future on the tv screen, well, at least tried to. They landed in the Milan airport at 4:30 am. Everyone on the plane was puzzled why they had landed 2 hours early, but nobody actually knew that they were in Italy.  

The worried pilot hoped nobody found out where they were before he disappeared into the crowded airport.  

La Camel rushed through the bridge with Le Runt trailing behind her. Without knowing where she really was, La Camel burst into the airport filled with… Italians? When they got inside the large mall, they wondered why everyone was speaking Italian and not French. They wondered why all the souvenirs said Milan. 

“Howdy,” someone said in a western accent, but nobody knew who. Le Runt turned around to see a small longhorn, well, small for a longhorn. 

“Me name is Dana Texan, how about you?” she repeated, also in a western accent, so obviously she was from the west. 

“Er… well, my name is Le Runt, and, um… she is La Camel,” said Le Runt. He hardly met anybody in public. 

“I haven’t met any French dudes in a long time,” continued Dana. 

“Well, she is not a dude. Plus, where are we? This looks more like…” 

“Correct! This is actually Italy?!” 

“WHAT?! This is France! Our flight’s destination was France!” 

“It was, but don’t you know, your pilot was forced to land the plane.” Le Runt looked at the monitor. There it said:  LANSING-PARIS BOEING 737-100 EMERGENCY LANDING AIR FRANCE. 

Le Runt didn’t know that La Camel was listening. 

“Apparently camels have great hearing,” thought Le Runt. Then he went back to his book, Kung Fu Panda.  

“Past is failure, future is success, today is a gift, that is why it is called present,” said the wise turtle. Although it was a bad time, Le Runt still whispered it out loud because La Camel’s loud weeping kept him from keeping track of the sentence he was on. 

“What was that you said?” said La Camel. 

“What? I didn’t say anything,” replied Le Runt. 

“Did you just say that?” ignored La Camel. “Because that was the wisest thing you have ever said. Wait, have you ever said anything wise? No, I have never heard you say anything wise,” continued La Camel. 

Le Runt frowned. “But I didn’t say anything,” Le Runt protested. 

“Yes, you did.” 

“Oh yeah,” said Le Runt. 

Since Le Runt hardly ever got credit for things, he decided this was his chance. 

To be continued 

About the Author 

9-year-old Drew has a passion for exploring the world around him. His interests range from engineering and 3D printing to birding, writing and playing soccer.